American Idol: Philly

I wrote in an earlier post that I'm not a big American Idol fan. Which is true, but I do enjoy the auditions.....

Yesterdays episode had American Idol beginning in Philadelphia. But of course only about 20% of the people there were actually from Philly. Can you believe people fly across the country to audition? Can you believe people fly across the country to audition who don't even know what a musical note is?

Anyway, the first in the long line to take over William Hung's shoes was Ukka. He moved to America three years ago from Egypt. I couldn't tell if this was a real person or Sacha Baron Cohen (Ali G, Borat) trying to create a new character. He sang a song by "Mr. Bee Gee's" because it makes him feel like "I fly in the sky". Nice. He knew he had a good shot because his friend said he was a "sexy face". The funniest moment of the night came when Uka was talking to a female contestant. If you dont feel like watching the clip it went like this -

Chick - "You love women"
Ukka - "Yes"
Chick - "You have Kids?"
Ukka - "I not married"
Chick - "Why, just cuz you not married you can't have kids?"
Ukka - "Yes"
Chick - "Welcome to the new city baby! Thats all thats going on over here!"

Priceless.You want to watch the clip NOW don't you?

The next notable performer was James Lewis, 22. He is a tour guide in Philadelphia, which entails wearing a mustard yellow "century 21ish" jacket. Apparently his co-workers pushed him to audition. This could be the meanest thing I've ever heard. When you listen to him sing just think of one thing - Bill Cosby.

Eventually, the sob story contestant came up, this years Kelly Pickler(Except Kelly can "sing"), Temptress Brown. I don't want to make fun of her but it is a little too easy. She is a Middle Linebacker! Her mom is sick, which no one points out is due to the fact that she ate herself to 500Lbs. She reminded me of the mom from "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?". If they want to do the black version they don't have to dress Eddie Murphy up in a fat suit. Thats all i'm saying. To Temptress' credit she was able to match her hair exactly to her outfit.

And finally the stand out crazy of the night was Alexis. She looked like she just got home from a rave. Who knew rave kids lived past 19 years old. The funniest comment came from Simon who said she looked like William Dafoe. I think you could also go with Dennis Leary or even Wayne Gretzky.

(William Dafoe)

-Adam