Dear Maxim, Please Forget About Music and Stick to Lingerie Models, Fast Cars, and Geeky Gadgets

Someone's getting fired at Maxim. Plain and simple. Twice, really guys? You Maxim missionaries give negative reviews to both the new Black Crowes album and Nas without even listening to the whole things and then publish it? We know you didn't listen to the whole albums, because they're not even finished yet! So don't try to deny anything.

The first review of Warpaint, the Black Crowes new album, appears in the March issue of Maxim and is given a 2.5 stars out of 5. The writer--who has not heard the album since advance CDs were not made available--wrote what appears to be a disparaging assessment anyway, citing “it hasn’t left Chris Robinson and the gang much room for growth.” When approached for an explanation, the magazine described the review as “an educated guess preview.” I'm sorry, come again?

After they got caught red handed, Maxim issued a formal apology, stating "It is Maxim's editorial policy to assign star ratings only to those albums that have been heard in their entirety. Unfortunately, that policy was not followed in the March 2008 issue of our magazine and we apologize to our readers."

Black Crowes manager rejected Maxim's announcement and called for the magazine's full accountability. “Maxim seems to continue in their attempt to deceive the public with their usage of the word 'entirety.' At the most, Maxim could have only heard the one complete song that has been released to radio, before publishing their 'album review.' It comes as no surprise that Maxim has elected to apologize to their readers now that the world has been informed of their deception; however, that is not full accountability.”

In an attempt to redeem themselves, Maxim chose to review the new Nas album, Nigger. Again, this album was given a 2.5 star rating our of 5, and isn't even finished yet! "I'm finishing the album now, and it will be out April 22," Nas told Page Six. Maxim has since apologized for the premature review, but Nas doesn't care. "I'd prefer [a review from] Playboy," the rapper said. "That kind of stuff doesn't reach my radar or effect anybody around me. I don't know what a music rating from Maxim is . . . I don't know what it even means really."

Well I'm off to review a concert from a band I've never seen before, followed by a movie that's not released yet,

-Josh

Some classic Black Crowes and Nas: